❤ · ; · Reaiah

I'm feeling so overwhelmed right now. Like I really need someone to talk to.): I always like being a listening ear to others cause I know how much they would appreciate having one, in times like these. I've tried talking to a few people, but I guess cause they're all ALevel kids, they have their own problems to handle, instead of mine. I used to have a listening ear too. A confidante. But I lost him. And it took me times like these to realise what we used to have, we don't have it anymore, and to treasure his presence. It was different having you around, friend. You went through these things, and so you would give me advice. You would genuinely, from the bottom of your heart help me out in my dire situations. You were really more than a friend. A really special one. I could say Our friendship was one of a kind? Pure friendship w no love interest. Smth I was looking for. But I was stupid. I let you go because I was silly. And so now when I need that someone. He's no longer there.

Friend, if you're reading this, I miss you. Yep.

And for the rest, do take time to think who has left permanent footprints in your lives. Because you should hug them tight, and never let go. You don't want to lose them, before realising that life was just a whole lot better with them.(:

SO... Life.
-> 10 MORE DAYS TO ALEVELS. Yea...... How is that comforting. LOL.

-> I think it's like everyone is so caught up w studying & stuff, that r/s don't matter at this point? Not like bfgf type of r/s, but FRIENDSHIP. Friends. It's like you just forget the friends you made, & put them aside for this moment in time. But did it ever occur, that it could possibly be gone forever? It weighs so heavily on me. That I'm helpless. AGAIN. It's like this love-hate r/s thing..

-> Phone has been so so cranky & pms-y. Sometimes I swear it's more of a girl than me.

-> I need to disown my computer. Mama will come back after A's. Promise. Haha, I can't wait. But you're currently a distraction. LOL. Look what I'm doing, typing a blog post, on my computer. -.- Someone has to lock up my baby.

-> Sometimes I wished I had a mind reader. Like someone who knew everything that went on in my head, so when I'm too tired to say out whatever I'm thinking, it would already know.

...... OH WAIT. I do have one. How can I ever forget.. Reaiah...... Look up, lift up. Father, I know everything you have control over. Help me dear Lord. ^^

-> Ehh, to be truthful. I've been going out to study, or going home (just not school), was to escape from the ppl I had to face. Because it just distracts me, instead of helping me to study like it used to.

-> Mel calls me occasionally. I'm so happy she bothers to. Makes me so blessed to know she's around. She's human too. Feeling the things I'm feeling. Somewhat motivates me to do work as well? So that when she calls me, I can at least say I did smth. You might not know this babe, but you're actually a really efficient worker, if only you lowered your standards and expectations of yourself. You would feel alot more confidant and better about your progress.((: Glad we had that long talk that night, don't cry my dear. Tears should be for happy things alright? Like if you go up to collect your ALevels results next year. Cry your eyes out, girl. Haha, ok, don't take that literally. But yes, I LOVE YOU. Look up & lift up too. He's there for you.

-> Erm, what else. Let's see. My daddy? I miss him like the most ever.. I really really miss him so so much. Like I just wna hug him, & never let go. In the daughter-ly kind of way.

-> My hair has been growing longer. I'm happy.(: Can tie pony-tail already, & when I let down it's not too hot. I actually quite like this length. Maybe just a tinny-weeny bit longer. I'll be content. ^^

-> Currently favourite song : It Will Rain - Bruno Mars. Don't ask why. I just do. LOL.
Or some others which I don't skip the track when it plays on my ipod...
Mistletoe - Justin Bieber. (What! I kinda like his music. :D)
It Girl - Michael Henry ft. Justin Robinett Cover
Tonight - FM Static (Aww, I <3 this one!)
Finding Me Out - The Friday Night Boys
Hmm, yeah, currently I can only think of these few.(:

-> I seriously miss my friends & squash too.)): A's why you no come faster. Hais.

Yup that's about it..? Have a great week, people.

What are words when you really don't mean them when you say them?
What are words if they're only for good times then they don't?


These lyrics never made anymore sense to me then now.

A real boyfriend ♥

Just read this, it will make a difference.
If only everyone could see this and understand it.

When she stares at your mouth
-Kiss her

When she pushes you or hits you like a dummy cause she thinks shes stronger than you
-Grab her and don't let go

When she starts cursing at you trying to act all tough
-Kiss her and tell her you love her

When she's quiet
-Ask her what's wrong

When she ignores you
-Give her your attention

When she pulls away
-Pull her back

When you see her at her worst
-Tell her she's beautiful

When you see her start crying
-Just hold her and don't say a word

When you see her walking
-Sneak up and hug her waist from behind

When she's scared
-Protect her

When she steals your favorite hoodie
-Let her keep it and sleep with it for a night

When she teases you
-Tease her back and make her laugh

When she doesn't answer for a long time
-Reassure her that everything is okay

When she looks at you with doubt
-Back yourself up

When she says that she loves you
-she really does more than you can understand

When she grabs at your hands
-Hold her's and play with her fingers

When she bumps into you
-Bump into her back and make her laugh

When she tells you a secret
-Keep it safe and untold

When she looks at you in your eyes
-Dont look away until she does

When she says it's over
-She still wants you to be hers

- Stay on the phone with her even if she's not saying anything

- When she's mad hug her tight and don't let go

- When she says she's ok don't believe it, talk with her because 10 yrs later she'll remember you

- Call her at 12:00am on her birthday to tell her you love her

- Treat her like she's all that matters to you

- Stay up all night with her when she's sick

- Watch her favorite movie with her or her favorite show even if you think it's stupid

- Give her the world.

- Let her wear your clothes

-When she's bored and sad, hang out with her

-Let her know she's important.

- Kiss her in the pouring rain

Haha, just read this on FB. Found it quite interesting. Is there really such a guy out there any longer? >.

Hmm, the feeling just isn't right. Idk how to explain it. Like it's nearly impossible to describe in words. Like even harder than GP's summary or AQ. :/ There's something that isn't settling in my heart. Just feel somehow burdened? Yeah. Kinda stressed up over it. Did things to try to relieve the feeling, but it wouldn't go away. So idk what the heck it is...

I don't wna be the only one trying,
don't wna be the only one giving it my all,
don't wna be the one at the losing end.
Are we getting too comfortable, or are we in fact distancing?
Was it my fault?
Something that shouldn't have started, or started too quickly?
I DON'T KNOW.
I don't have the answer to anything. It's frustrating. And you're not making it any better. :/

Anyway, on a happier note. Or maybe not at all.
But I kinda missed being friends with you. Got that feeling a few days ago. I remember all those days. Haha, the good memories. Well, they didn't go away, they're still there. But it's just that we're not really talking anymore. Or rather quite formally. Which kinda bugs me. Because we used to be so close. Confidante remember? Sigh, it was just this rush of emotions. Then I felt uber guilty.): Like I know I hurt you quite a bit, by distancing and not telling you why... Left you there guessing. Made it such a sudden ending. Yeah, it was my fault, & I feel extremely bad about it. But I doubt apologising now would even salvage the situation. OHwells, if you're reading this, I'm sorry... :|

Okbye.

P.S. CMM, this isn't about who you think it is. Don't bother asking me with that cheeky grin ah! HEEHEE. ^^